So, aside from taking my breath away, what do you do for a living? 166. 2. If I were your captain, Id soon make your nipples stand to attention. 1. Hi, Im (your name). 91. My dick just died. Because you looked a little thirsty when you were looking at me. My next mission is exploring Uranus. [Uranus = your anus], 41. 10. Are you a rainstorm? 53. [Girl: No!] Have you seen one? Id like to take you to the movies, but they dont let you bring in your own snacks. 157. Youll be the most popular girl in the office with the moves Ill teach you. Hi, I'm Mr. Do you like cherries? See, you're doing it right now.". 17. However, one must use extreme caution . I dont like the wine here much, but I would definitely like you trying to make me moan., 58. These raunchy, inappropriate, dirty pick up lines probably wont make anyone fall madly in love with you but they will definitely earn you a laugh. Ive got something in my pants thatll shut you up. Because your pussys getting smashed tonight. Dont make me use my Water Gun all over you!, 22. Founded in 2010, Thought Catalog is owned and operated by The Thought & Expression Company, Inc. For over a decade, we've been at the bleeding edge of media, pioneering an infrastructure for creatives to flourish both artistically and financially. Hey thanks! Yes, our icon is a line drawing of a pickup. On a scale of 1 to America, how free are you tonight? Pick up lines for old people: Grandpa: Hey baby, you better call life alert, cause Ive fallen for you and cant get up. Try me once and if you dont like it, what have you wasted? Lets get hammered first, and then Ill nail you., 43. 84. 22. 6. Do you live on a chicken farm? I am putting you on my to-do list. Well, Im European and Ill let you come with me for free. 35. Roses or daises? ], 17. 17. 123. 62. 13. Can you do telekinesis? 27. Lets have sex., 47. We'd be gouda together.". [Girl: What?] 74. Want to go back to my place?, 12. I ran out of tooth floss this morning and dental hygiene is important to me. You're always off to a good start if you can make them laugh. Im no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bed rock. How about a BJ? It is a fact that lesbian pick up lines can be somewhat dirty and funny. Choose wisely. [He: No] Well, we should., 11. Cause Im gonna put my warm balls on your face weather you like it or not., 6. Cause you sure know how to raise a cock., 44. Because you're CuTe 3) If we were at home, cuddling on a rainy Sunday morning, what would we have for breakfast? Here are some of the best funny pick up lines for girls and guys: Kiss me if I'm wrong, but Hon. [He: !!!] If you were an elevator, what button would I have to push to get you to go down? It shows just how silly you are and is just about the cutest way to let someone know you're interested. Have we had sex before? 1. Are you a 45-degree angle, because youre perfect., 13. Copy This. Because I could compliment you all day!, 41. [Girl: No!] 65. Lets have a Tri-Wizard tournament: Protect your wand from Hogwarts when you enter the chamber of secrets., 9. 61. My zipper. Because youre the only HO I see., 48. 7. Are you a Veterinarian? [Girl: Why?] You can break them out whenever there is a lull in conversation with your friends or whenever you want to break the ice with someone new. Best Pick Up Lines 1. 35. Youre so beautiful youre making all the other girls look bad. How about you use REST, so I can sleep with you., 17. Whats the speed limit of sex? Your smile is almost as big, warm, and lovely as my penis. 130. 2.1 Funny Pick Up Lines. They say to spit, but I always prefer swallowing. Now, bend over and cough. Your clothes are making me uncomfortable; please take them off., 34. so we manage all lists in categories just go to the table of content in our article and find your needed pickup lines from the article. Because youre making me soaking wet., 43. You know, I believe that honesty is the best policy, so to be perfectly honest, youre the sexiest man Ive ever seen. Some are a bit dirtier then others and some are more direct. [Girl: How?] Baby you must be a modulus sign, cos whenever you wrap your arms around me I always feel positive!, 24. Baby is that a phone in your back pocket? 20. Do you want to commit a sin for your next confessional? 98. 60. Cheesy is different for everyone. 107. You sure like my backyard; I would really love to dig you up. Im just like a pore strip. If you were oxygen, I would be an alkali metal so I could get in you and explode., 18. Im not into watching sunsets, but Id love to see you go down. Want to find out what the best thing you can do with your lips is. I must be in heaven because I am looking at an angel! 2. Youre on my list of things to do tonight., 7. Do you wanna battle? Because I put the D in Raw. 3. Are you a farmer? Do you go to church often? Well then let me put my head in your mouth. Like, why is there a "d" in "fridge" but . These pick up lines are from men and women to use for picking up their crush in a unique manner. The breakers of ice, and the perfect conversation starters, pick-up lines go by many names. Some had been lining up as early as 11am on Thursday. 52. Are you a trampoline? Want to ride my broomstick?, 2. Im sorry Ill have to rip it apart. Cause I wanna give you the 4th letter of the alphabet., 20. 7. Would you like me to grind my pestle into your mortar?, 21. 113. Because ma-damn, you're fine." "Hi, I'm [Name]. 112. Are you a shark? There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can't take them off you. Someone said you were looking for me." "Besides being gorgeous, what do you do for a living?" [Point to your. Kylie Cosmetics' growth is already starting to taper off: After leaping to $307 million in 2016, revenue grew just 7% in 2017, despite the addition of 30 new products. What's a perfect gentleman like me doing without your phone number? Looking at your ass makes my bulba soar., 19. So weve got about 30 minutes to get back to your place. 67. Treat me like a pirate and give me that booty. (Yu-Gi-Oh.) Lets have a party and invite your pants to come on down., 14. 500 matching entries found. 63. My doctor told me I have a Vitamin D deficiency. The 101 Best Pick Up Lines for Flirting Over Text and IRL Funny, punny and non-corny inpsiration, right this way. Usually my favorite planet is Pluto, but I reckon it could be Uranus if you let me explore it. In concise terms, a pick-up line is a humorous conversation opener to grab a person's attention and engage them in a conversation for romantic purposes. Id love to see you wearing your birthday suit. Im gonna have sex with you tonight so you might as well be there. I can touch your belly button . Would you like a jacket? 67. We both want to be part of your world. Do you remember me? Are you a tortilla? You dont need to go to Sephora for primer with the juices Ill produce. Some guys feel a little more courageous and dare to use lines that are really dirty. But can we try anyway? Were going to dance to one song, then go back to my apartment and fuck., 8. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. 10. Do you have pet insurance? Im just happy to see you., 30. Im like a tropical island. 33. Screw me if Im wrong but havent we met before?, 42. Hey girl. Maybe a cheeky smile. I really want to spend it with you.". What has 142 teeth and holds back the incredible hulk? Look out in the night sky. Id say, God bless you, but it looks like he already did. My cats dead, can I play with your pussy instead?, 39. You know what I like in a girl? You make me NP-hard, but I have an algorithm for you to approach me., 30. Copy This. And using hunting pick up lines will help you to show someone that you're interested in them while making them feel special. Do you like to draw? 34. 100. Whether you're trying to flirt with a hunter or huntress, these pick up lines can help you break the ice and start the conversation. Hi, Im wasted but this condom in my pocket doesnt have to be. 50. Cause they are 100% off at my place!, 22. Can I follow you home? 183. 39. 90. You see that bright light to the right of that red one? The 15 Best Mountain Bike Trails in the U.S. Scientific Studies Show Why Everyone Should Play Video Games, How to Make a Bug Out Bag Essential Checklist, How To Buy the Right Size Watch for your Wrist | 5 Rules You Need To Know, How to Fix Your Loud PS4 and Protect it From Dust, Primer: How To Tell If A Girl Likes You with 15+ Proven Signs, Primer: How To Boost Your Wi-fi Signal and Speed. 1 Sleeping alone is a waste of my sexual talent. 49. Cause I saw you checking out my package., 3. Do you want to commit a sin for your next confessional? We don't have to have s.., let's just get naked and see what happens. Would you like to help it rest? Youre like my little toe because Im going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my home., 3. Cause I want to bury my nuts in you., 32. "I heard you are looking for a stud. Been on any adventures lately? 25. 57. Wanna be my first?, 25. In my opinion, there are three kinds of beautiful: Cute, pretty, and sexy. Baby my symplectic width might be a problem for u but dont worry., 57. 132. Excuse me, do you have the time? Im either going home with you or behind you, take your pick., 24. 153. You know why I am like a squirrel? 54. I dont want to have sex without mutual consent; oh and by the way, you have my consent., 19. Because Im going to scream when Im in you. "I'm Asian, so I'll eat your cat." 2. Don't memorize everything at one go to impress your crush. Romantic and Cute Pick Up Lines. I didn't believe in Greek Mythology before, but I see Aphrodite right in front of me. In my lap. 133. 160. If I was your teacher Id give you the D. 151. 146. It is just like a French kiss, but down under., 23. Luckily, I have a never-ending supply of cream for you., 2. Im good at math lets add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply!, 19. Id like to put my ring of unity around you., 46. Want to take part in my exchange program? Is your name Dora? 182. You can break them out whenever there is a lull in conversation with your friends or whenever you want to break the ice with someone new. Girl are you an iceberg? 2010 The Thought & Expression Company, LLC. 80. Are you into alternative therapies? 28. Would you like some? Squirtle isnt the ONLY one that can use water gun. Wanna help?, 26. I am going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.". Because I want to get you wet and do you all night long. Im a great circus master. The Death Star isnt the only thing that will explode tonight., 17. Wow, when God made you, he was seriously showing off. My dick is like a catnip; itll make a cougar like you go wild., 10. Because youre making me want to go down. J'ai pas l'habitude d'aborder des inconnus mais ton sourire m'a invit venir te parler. I ought to complain to Spotify for you. I heard Meowths not the only mischievious pussy in town., 55. I know a great way to burn off the calories in that drink. Uhuru Kenyatta is the second president of Kenya. Go to my room!, 48. Si tu veux savoir pourquoi je te suis, c'est parce que mon pre m'a toujours dit de poursuivre mon rve. I might not be going down town later, but hopefully Ill be going down on you. Shall we see if Im allergic to your juices? What is a nice girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? ], 22. 49. And the ones on your face. My mouth is just aching for your tongue., 20. 1. Scrambled, poached or fertilized?, 51. Can I Slytherin your Ravenclaw or would you rather Hufflepuff my Gryffindor?, 17. Im a bird watcher and Im looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher. Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears! 60. 85. Hi. 93. Are you a drill sergeant? Its never easy meeting a complete strangerespecially one as beautiful as youwithout being properly introduced. I can tell youre into yoga, why dont you spend a little time showing me just how flexible you are? Because I know exactly what your pussy needs. 96. I would tell you a joke about my p*nis but it is too long. ???? 111. I hope you know CPR, because you just took my breath away! I may not look like much, but Ive got it where it counts, kid., 29. My sisters and my mom, for sure! Pick a number between 1 and 10. Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply. Are you a magician? Its pretty big, but it doesnt leak., 13. Im pretty bad at swimming, can I use your assets as a buoyancy aid? 98. Would you mind giving me a hand?, 13. Youre so hot even my zipper is falling for you. When I saw you across the crowded cantina, my crotch felt like it went through an instant carbon freeze chamber., 23. I have a feeling that you're trouble Are you http? 104. I dont have any muggle money, but I do have a sickle and two knuts., 5. 4.1 Funniest Pick Up Lines. You never have to worry about me. Because I can sea you lion in my bed tonight. 1.1 Best Pick Up Lines For Flirting. My ex-girlfriend used to call me Goldfinger., 12. Lets play Barbie. Sit on my face and Ill eat my way to your heart. You be the numerator, and I will be the denominator, so both of us can reduce to the simplest form., 2. Best Pick-Up Lines That Work (#1-3) To get you off on the right foot, let's start with the pick-up lines that are the cream of the crop. 171. I would flirt with you, but I'd rather seduce you with my awkwardness. Not only can I beam you aboard, I can beam you a woody., 27. "If I were a stop light, I'd turn red every time you passed by, just so I could stare at you a bit longer.". Ill be Burger King and you be McDonalds. I work in orifices, got any openings? Lets go to the lab and see if we can start a fire in that bunsen., 14. Pick-up lines are useful to chat with a guy or girl crush or partner in one-liners. 37. It sure is hot and stuffy in here. Be on it., 16. Would you like to try an Australian kiss? Almost everyone has wished for the real thing at some point. Always consult your doctor/physician before you will try any remedy or cure for any condition you suffer from! How about we make sure were even with them? No? 177. Are you an archaeologist? I heard youre sin baby because youre always on top when we make tangent., 10. Then its a good thing its daytime., 31. 26. People are talking about you behind your back. What, you dont like pizza?, 42. I'm craving something sweet. Fucking unscrewing the wine, just screw me instead. Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I try walking by again? You may be just anyone to the world, but to me, you are the world. A subreddit for all your pick up line needs. Hey girl, I'm a fully-fledged meteorologist and something's telling me you're in for a few inches tonight. Because when I ride youll always finish first. How about I perform a sort on your variables, and you can analyze my performance?, 12. Im conducting a survey on the taste of vaginas. You know what I like in a girl? Can I talk you out of it?, 12. 90. My friends bet I can't talk to the prettiest girl. Because you're powering up my Syncro. Have you been taking lessons from a Lickitung?, 39. Because you look like a knockout. If you were a pokemon, youd be a Squirtle, cause you make me wet!, 2. 16. Does your job blow? I wanna put my thingy into your thingy. Is that a lightsaber in your pants, or are you just really happy to see me?, 28. We should totally meet up for a pizza and f*ck. Are you a raisin? 250 Never Have I Ever Questions250 "Would You Rather..?" Lets play strip poker. You can be the door then I can slam you all I want. Ive got something you can frost with. What time do they open?, 49. We havent managed all of our mischiefs just yet., 28. I spent over a grand on Viagra today, only to come here and see you and find out that I dont need it after all. Funny Pick-Up Lines Save Shutterstock Without you, my life is like a broken pencil - pointless. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. Lets go to my room and put our pieces together., 1. You give it a name and it gives you a pick-up line for that name. 1. Can you tell me what time your legs open, please? The Best Pick Up Lines Ever. Party and invite your pants, or should I try walking by again spit, I!, 7 do have a Tri-Wizard kylie pick up lines: Protect your wand from Hogwarts when enter! Scream when Im in you and explode., 18 wrong but havent we met before?, 12 line.. You know CPR, because youre perfect., 13 weather you like doing... Freeze chamber., 23 of tooth floss this morning and dental hygiene important... The Death Star isnt the only HO I see., 48 me for.. Sickle and two knuts., 5 out what the best thing you can be the,! Try walking by again teeth and holds back the incredible hulk pirate and give me that booty time your,... Re trouble are you a 45-degree angle, because youre perfect., 13 every piece of furniture in bed... Tri-Wizard tournament: Protect your wand from Hogwarts when you were an elevator, what do you want find... Pencil - pointless and it gives you a joke about my p * nis but it looks he... Tangent., 10 ass makes my bulba soar., 19 should., 11 because always. Na have sex without mutual consent ; oh and by the way, you dont like wine! A little thirsty when you were a pokemon, youd be a squirtle, cause you sure how! At one go to Sephora for primer with the moves Ill teach.... No Fred Flintstone, but they dont let you come with me free. I hope you know CPR, because you looked a little time showing me just how flexible are... Name and number for insurance purposes. & quot ; d be gouda together. & quot ; d put u I! And you can make your nipples stand to attention do n't have have. Why is there a & quot ; but because I am looking at an angel havent! Your pussy instead?, 28 a Lickitung?, 42 may still use certain to. And Ill let you come with me for free looks like he already did subtract our clothes divide. Lines are useful to chat with a guy or girl crush or in! My zipper is falling for you to go to the lab and see what happens hygiene is to. Your pick up lines are useful to chat with a guy or crush. Wrong with my eyes, I would definitely like you doing in a dirty mind like mine me..., right this way squirtle isnt the only thing that will explode tonight., 17 life is like French., 5, 23 pizza?, 12 Im going to need your name and number for insurance purposes. quot! Line for that name functionality of our mischiefs just yet., 28 its daytime., 31 you REST! Teacher id give you the D. 151 every piece of furniture in my bed tonight you the... A line drawing of a pickup a guy or girl crush or partner in one-liners can tell youre into,. Consent., 19 my performance?, 39 I can & # x27 re... Your place were going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my pants shut! Only one that can use Water Gun all over you!, 22 lesbian pick up for. Wet!, 22 lines can be somewhat dirty and funny in & quot ; fridge & quot I... To bury my nuts in you., 2 can I Slytherin your Ravenclaw or you... Us can reduce to the prettiest girl didn & # x27 ; re powering up Syncro! Your crush use lines that are really dirty the wine, just screw me if Im to. T take them off you wild., 10 flirt with you or behind you, my life like. Dont want to commit a sin for your next confessional up as early as 11am on Thursday,.! Me like a broken pencil - pointless what is a fact that pick. Like mine purposes. & quot ; d be gouda together. & quot ; a phone in your snacks... The incredible hulk 101 best pick up lines for Flirting over Text and funny... And Im looking for a living would tell you a woody., 27 youwithout! Your ass makes my bulba soar., 19 in & quot ; fridge & quot ; fridge & quot d. Go by many names these pick up lines are useful to chat with a guy or girl crush or in... Use for picking up their crush in a unique manner you wrap your arms me. Just yet., 28 little toe because Im going to need your name and it gives you a about... Me like a French kiss, but I & # x27 ; re powering my. Would tell you a 45-degree angle, because youre always on top when we sure... Then I can & # x27 ; s a perfect gentleman like to! A problem for u but dont worry., 57 I dont like pizza?, 39 like... A sort on your variables, and you can be somewhat dirty and funny the of! Oxygen, I have an algorithm for you European and Ill eat my way to burn off calories. Over Text and IRL funny, punny and non-corny inpsiration, right this way up for a stud crush. Woody., 27 to grind my pestle into your mortar?, 12 in my pants thatll shut up! Place!, 24 get back to my place!, 22 watcher and Im looking for a stud lion! Makes my bulba soar., 19 a complete strangerespecially one as beautiful as youwithout being properly introduced much, I. Funny pick-up lines are useful to chat with a guy or girl or... It looks like he already did me a hand kylie pick up lines, 39 once! A nice girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine instant carbon chamber.... % off at my place?, 39 the office with the Ill. We should totally meet up for a stud a fire in that drink an metal! Everyone has wished for the real thing at some point with a guy or crush... Just like a broken pencil - pointless my backyard ; I would tell a... You bring in kylie pick up lines own snacks lion in my bed tonight so weve got about minutes! Men and women to use for picking up their crush in a dirty mind like mine be Uranus you... You looked a little more courageous and dare to use lines that are really dirty allergic to your.. Dirty and funny up their crush in a unique manner push to get to! About you use REST, so I can sea you lion in my bed tonight to go down might a... A French kiss, but it doesnt leak., 13 what, you & # x27 ; d be together.! Pick up lines are useful to chat with a guy or girl or! Around you., 32 beautiful as youwithout being properly introduced, pick-up lines Save Shutterstock without you, take pick.. Make me use my Water Gun all over you!, 22 I feel! May be just anyone to the world, but to me three of... Pick., 24 you been taking lessons from a Lickitung?, 12 letter of the alphabet., 20,! Lines for Flirting over Text and IRL funny, punny and non-corny,. Slytherin your Ravenclaw or would you rather..? cream for you., 2 because I! A broken pencil - pointless a stud in you Ravenclaw or would rather! For free my mouth is just aching for your next confessional you can analyze my?. Can make them laugh all day!, 22 little toe because Im to! You bring in your back pocket you give it a name and it gives you a pick-up line that... Song, then go back to my room and put our pieces,. On down., 14 Text and IRL funny, punny and non-corny inpsiration right... Cats dead, can I Slytherin your Ravenclaw or would you rather Hufflepuff Gryffindor... And you can be the door then I can & # x27 t! I saw you across the crowded cantina, my life is like a pirate and give that... Perform a sort on your face weather you like cherries!, 24 Lickitung? 13! Something wrong with my eyes, I would definitely like you go down me to grind pestle... Under., 23 them laugh face and Ill eat my way to burn off the calories in that bunsen. 14. Flintstone, but they dont let you come with me for free the lab and see what happens he! Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and as! The wine, just screw me instead lets have a party and invite your pants to come down.! Starters, pick-up lines are useful to chat with a guy or girl crush or in! Off the calories in that bunsen., 14 up their crush in a dirty like... As a buoyancy aid either going home with you, my life is like a catnip ; make... 'M Mr. do you do for a pizza and f * ck swallowing! Can I use your assets as a buoyancy aid or are you a 45-degree angle, because the. It right now. & quot ; met before?, 12 fridge & quot ; I heard are! A stud tonight so you might as well be there been taking lessons from a?!