Totally cut her off..dropped her like a hot potato. I had PTSS at that time from it. All Very Shocking & Very Sad I think the little bit of spirituality he does have is the only thing keeping him from going completely over the edge. Why are you waiting for him to return? It seems almost abstracted now that so much time has passed and its me who seems absurd talking about the specifics of what happened. I read once that the nice narcs are truly wolves in sheep clothing. As she said, He teaches us all how to behave. By you refusing to be his friend, then he looks like the bad guy and narcs hate that. Its lifting me up. Is he really done? I love myself through you. I even went to jail, took 21 meds for my recovery with mehe cleaned out my housethe police let him. I thought he would leave me alone now, but no, it is almost worse. Angry ones.Why he does those things. As if to say the 2 months of no contact has made me forget all of his nasty words, actions, caring (manipulating) ploys and that of his mothers too where I should join him in viewing the world with rose colored glasses and ignore the cloud above my head. 20 Sure Signs a Married Man Wants To Sleep With You. YOU OWE ME . When I wouldnt walk away from the church I was the evil one and incompetent. Thank you. The answer lies in how narcissists apparently view relationships. He follows her and her young nephews (a teenager and 20-something) on social media to see if their outing was held. FAST and PRAY That gets Gods eyes on you. Once the child pulls away, be prepared for the father to respond in ways that cause the child extreme pain. You are his trophy, you are perfect (at least at the beginning) and all the focus should be on him anyways. That last part may not be healthy, but thats where I am now. Domestic violence unit contacted me the next day and said that they believed me and told me to get an emergency protection order and he feels my ex is more passive aggressive and gets off on reactions, that he would manipulate from the outside. Im sure he has convinced himself I am no good and he is better off..that way his ego can live with being dumped. A full-on communication stop after a breakup is rare these days. I was the one who had changed. The long talks we had and the support he gave me even though he did that to make himself feel good, really helped me at a time when I was at my lowest. I have been with him for almost 2 years. Now, I dont know if that unhappy look was due to the way I lookedlike he might have been thinking..damn! Second, psychologically, there is a constant tension inside us due to desiring someone who causes us such pain and yet periodically comes back to rescue us from it. I have no photos of her in the house, I dont think of her, Im clearing out things she gave me, etc. This so-called questionable source may be because he has lied about some stuff and its his way of trying to backtrack. Plus, women are by nature, more seductive then men. The narcissist knows that as soon as their current relationship fails, theyve got someone to run to who is willing and waiting to take them back. I think he has a touch of something. I dont want to be back in a relationship with him. And when that relation is over he would come to me. After years of abuse, they realized they were in a destructive relationship and harmed them, so they left. When I lent it to her, we were actually about as close as friends as we had been, and spoke on the phone several times over the next month after lending her the money. I have a lot to offer a person that walks with me on my path of life. She then called me for advice on how to get him out of her house. I have decided to pursue getting my money back, and am going to send a letter to her in the next day or two giving her two weeks to get me my money, or else be sued (which I am going to do if she does not comply). Funny thing is Eden, she says oh he is happy now, blah blah, and she told me the reason he could not get it up is because he stopped liking me as a person. Knowledge is power! Yet friends are telling me they have never seen him happier. I have no friends lef..who would help any ways. The next day he had court date with another woman in the nieghborhood Poor widow Kim whom he had an relationship which he denies. Maybe a couple of conversations will be amazing, but dont let on they are. And looking at him as third party real cemented the pitiful character he is. I think I triggered something during my visit that was seen as critical of him. Theyll try and convince you that your friendship would be perfect, you might not have worked out as lovers, but youd sure make the best of friends. I honestly dont think I can be sucked in again romantically. Still a part of letting go. I have an intervention order out on him due to physical abuse, is this something he may ignore and still try to contact me? In this case, since youre saying you dont want to be friends anymore, hell remind you that hes got something on you that could destroy you. More often then not, Narcissists are described by their partners as the "perfect man/woman.". I am a 30 year old widow.was in a relationship with a person for 2 monthshe was very smart, educated, welathy and single..but have had 2 previous relationships in which both the girls refused him according to himhe was one of my aunties friend.when my aunty spoke to him regarding me he said yes he would talk to me and said i want a perfect girl..when we started talking he was very nice.he praised me.said i am perfect for him.gave me so much of time and importance..though we were in different countries and havent seen each other yet he committed to me.he always said i wont find a guy like himhe have worked so hard to achieve all thishe have expenseive watchesi do shopping from london.my family is the best.we go on tours very often..very proud of his looks and bodyalways brag about how good he and his family isafter 3 weeks i started finding changes in him.he gets irritaed with me and yells at meon minor things like if i askare you tiredstarted avoiding mewas controlling the relationship in a way that we would talk when he have time.and whatever he wants to talk about..he would say he is the boss.doesnt show interest if I ask him to skpye or for any other thingwhen cannot call me makes excuses like i forgot my phone somewhere..one day i teased him that i saw someone who was really very nice..he abused me, yelled at me, compared this situation to his previous relationship and hung up.i apologized but still he called and said i accepeted you even though you have a past..and yelled at me..then he was just sending me one or two messages each day.then he stopped texting me and gave me a silent behavior for one month.i begged him even then he didnt respondedthen i texted him and broke up with him.he said he would call me after two days and give me a replyI said i dont want to talk to you anymore.he replied he gave me love and respect and I ruined everything..then called my aunty and said bad things about meI still love him and wish he would come backif he comes back.should I accepthim or not? Thanks Anon, if he only cares about appearances why is he so indifferent to losing the material things he once treasured so highly?? My ex Narc discarded me for the millionth time some years ago after months of me Gray rocking him. I feel alive again. When I woulnldnt shop at the high dollar stores for him when I shopped at thrift stores I was being stingy. Many Narcissists dont treat their exes well, especially when they refuse to come back. -Financial Exploitation. Based on your description, that is what it sounds like to me. Would the fresh start include reparations with all the people the narcissist and his sidekicks directly contacted privately to point out this or that smearing observation about me in fact in this area they would have to contact the national grouping of those in our shared sport of hang gliding as at one point my personal communications with a support forum were found by him and then published publically in a national forum so this fresh start, does that include some sort of national statement to repair that damage? December 20th was the final day NO CONTACT since then (from me) I thought it was really over everyone said he has gone away. Come to find out after he left he had been having affairs with several of our friends even before we were married. She wants to be my friend because of how she thinks my presence serves as one of her ideal actors in the movie that is her life. No man is worth your tears and the one that is will never make you cry. I called out his lies in front of people and came off looking crazy. You have been through it. Should I be concerned for my safety? Well, other than her owing me money.lol. Shouting that has a lot of problems on his head and how dare i claim him so much i was embarassed for my family to hear so i said with a harder voice to go through him.. `Yes my mother is ok she is worried but feels good.!! The claws they hook into you are insane. Get any documentation together that you can that might prove your Ex isnt fit to be your childs primary custodian,which might include any threatening texts and emails, any charges he may have against him for abuse, drugs, or alcohol. I tried it. -Kristen. The moment he broke up with you, he stopped being your responsibility. She brought it up, and seemed happy that she was going to be sending me half of it. I know his soul more than he does i believe this. I think disordered women make far better/effective liars then men in general, so the pain can be even worse for a male victim. And once I realised this was how my ex-friend loved me (oh they told me they did things for me out of love like telling me they had thought about getting me a present, but not actually getting it, not that it would have mattered because gifts are not my language i.e. See, it was all a plan to slowly work his way back. Either way, you dont want to be him right now. Very skilled at the manipulation. Why wait for him take you high again only to drop you back down? Now because i feel humiliated i send three long emails to him. Yes, I adored her. Its difficult to comprehend that the person I was with was an imposter. Its also why they appear so happy with the new supply. "Apologizing" for their behavior. I think he was very injured when I didnt reply to his Happy New Years text. Wow.I have to check out Dr Simon manipulative people. He made all my needs his priority. Things were moving way too fast and that was mainly my fault. Your ex blocked you on all social media and you gave up all hope of ever talking again. Please do not underestimate the fear and trauma that a man can cause to a woman and this is not even mentioning the physical violence from the first narc, pinning myself and my baby son to the bed by the neck. They get tired of it and i lost my best friend because of this. I thought the same when my ex found his new supply. This statement shows the true colors of a narcnot whether or not they are guilty of what you accuse them of as they will never have a real discussion about thatbut now they are the victims of you unfairly saying they are abusive and tarnishing their fake reputation. If you notice subtle signs of the narcissists intent to return, ignore them and move on. If you find that its too much to handle on your own, you may want to consider joining us in The Essential No Contact Bootcamp. What I now feel is like my whole sense of self has been suddenly truncated I am feeling a confusing mix of things affronted by the ease with this seeming resolution full of anger at how its affected me not to say the ambiguities I face relinking to the group as a whole I sent a contribution into the forum where they all are the other day a simple comment about something normal just like before exactly what I have missed so much some replied some talked about other stuff others started other threads it was like looking in on a room full of people chatting being excluded from that room for what is 18 months and now being able to walk in and talk like nothing has happened has made me really sad inside for the meaninglessness of it all how hard it is when this is used as a weapon manipulating and controlling a persons connectedness is a powerful and painful weapon it really hurts, none of the stress depression anxiety simply goes up in smoke I am mindful too that dealing with those things is now made more difficult given the blurring of the framework that formed them those feelings have been orphaned in a way, left out on their own, I think a big risk now for me is that I bury them try to move on without addressing them, if I was to say what I am full of at this moment it is confused anger, I did not reconnect so much as simply accept his offer of a fresh start in the sense that it was simply an idea I dont have to and dont see this person in my life the offer and its manifestation in my life was fully abstract, What happened was strange though and I am not sure I fully understand it but after he offered this fresh start and I got over the surprise and the sense that it was unexpected after he reconnected me to all the online forums that I had been banned from my sense of connection to the sport we had shared simply evaporated, It was as if in the years while there was abuse that that in itself became the thing that defined my connection to hang gliding in those years 2013/2014 my mind was fully preoccupied with the affront of having been ostracised running endlessly over how and why over how all the others seemed to simply accept it however they may have sympathised with me on a one on one level, I had initially thought I would just slowly pick up where I left off but its not working that way its almost as if I have been dumped in a way that the narcissist finally tired of the abuse and turned round and walked off the energy of the abusive link has gone and with it my link to flying flying I had had to step back from because of a need for No Contact. After a perfect night together I never saw her again. (His initials werent IF by any chance?). Yess creeving time is gone. So many things about human behavior have come into sharp focus for me, and it caused me to take a major step back before proceeding to date others. Just a week ago I sent an email to see if he would meet to talk. I can vision the tears and terror when the mess erupts. At one point I decided to do a little test. It worked! Suing her for $43,000. Your most recent gf sounds like a cold hearted person who is NOT a catch in anyway imaginable. Its also true no matter how the relationship ended. I didnt make a scene, closed the door and broke down in tears! Grow stronger and confident. What is worse, however, when dealing with narcissists, is feeling the effect of their lack of empathy and cruelty. when the narcissist stops contacting you. He is a tortured soul. So i tekst hey everything ok? She chose a guy like you, because she knew she could hurt you. One way to spot a guy who is breadcrumbing? Feel free to submit a guest post anytime! I can tolerate that but not abuse. However, what is very convincing to me is HIS COMPLETE DISMISSAL OF SUBCONCIOUS/UNCONCIOUS, AS AN EXPLONATORY TOOL FOR BEHAVIOUR OF THESE CHARACTERS. I do miss the good times which were few but not the bad ones. It has been over 2 yrs that my ex broke up w me according to him because I send an old guy friend a meme I LOVE YOU FRIENDETC SEND TO 15 OF YOUR FRIENDS. I read the letter first and I believe- I was guided to it for a reason. But you need to know it wont be a normal post relationship friendship, you cant give the narcissist full access to your life or theyll destroy it. Anon, my comments were taken way out of context. I love being your altar, your sacrament, your icon, your miracle. How she was never to blame and how I wasnt really her type. Be genuinely loving. I was very tough with him in order to make him understand that he shouldnt be messing with my head or heart. What do you think his next move will be. Its a part of who he is. On the other hand, if youre aware of this, and changing the narcissist isnt your motivation, you just know they need a real friend in their life, then go ahead. graciously letting you know that he isnt angry with you of course no mention that one should be angry with him for his appalling and predatory behavior His mask falls so quick when he cant get what he wants. I stopped talking to his mother the day we spoke about that freezer as much as I love her, I stopped answering her calls. Maybe i get weak when he come back again and again because i am creeving to let go off a dream. He didnt move hug me or clinch. Margo. This gives them a great advantage over us. Minimal contact, short, unemotional responses. Stay strong and dont disrespect your own integrity by acting like his friend for his egos sake! I dont believe I have a great future and ith leins o my house bcuz he wouldnt work and I wasbdisqbled. Finally, they discard you for some reason that usually seems inexplicable. His point is, that the traditional psychoanalytical approaches are very much applicable to all the neurotics (people with emotions, insane or healthy), BUT NOT THE DISTURBED CHARATERS, BECAUSE DEEP DOWN IMPLYES THEIR ACTING ON SUBCONCIOUS, AND THESE CHARACTERS KNOW EXACTLY WHAT THEY ARE DOING, THUS ACT CONCIOUSLY. He was very sweet and complimentary towards her the entire evening. Please don't contact me again. You know, I met my friends new bf the other nite for the first time. For them keeping you blocked is just a gesture of stupidity and childishness. and maybe he does in HIS way but why wont he let go. Thank you for stopping by and sharing your experience. I am now 53, please god let him be the final one. So little is discussed about the evil women on this site, but they in many ways are harder to get over then the male disordered. Puts here self a side.. A live where he is SuperGOD and my sweet loving daughter would just be a piece of.. They will even compare the level of supply they get from different partners. Their weapons of choice are silent treatments and deflection. Instead he tried to destroy a familial relationship I held dear and he succeeded in that.. not that he's aware of that. I set up my blog only to hit a brick wall, after 42 years of questioning who i was, all of a sudden the answers seemed to come thick and fast creating a grid lock in my head. How will he react to me leaving the triangle?? I try only now to be patient to feel my way and not react to this sense of emptiness fill it with other things and in a way hope that in time that the feelings will return but that is only for the experience of flying we are not alone in this world we do not do things only for the thing itself but that experience is surrounded by other people and its those people who are largely the same all of whom stood back and let me be abused. Like everyone else I struggle with the horrible feeling of missing her and thinking about her all the time.plus 3 months ago my mom passed away too to add on top of things. When you were together, theyd say things like, you cant do anything without me. First of all, because, as you know, no one can ever give you closure; you have to find it yourself. Then i got weak again. When I say Im in love with you, I mean Im in love with breathing your air, sucking your blood, eating your dreams. It may bec. So if he DOESN'T contact me, that means he can't get over . Weird stuff that I havent experienced before. If you like this article, youll also enjoy these: Kristen Milstead is a narcissistic abuse survivor who has become a strong advocate for finding your unique voice and using it to help others find theirs. He recently was fired from his bar-tending job and had to crawl back to his old one and now will be asking Do you want white rice or pork fried rice with your Mongolian Beef as a waiter because he got DE-moated and is no longer working the bar. Keep reading Kims stuff as she is so knowledgeable with a huge heart for victims! But clearly, something in me allowed this man to keep doing some of the things he did, long after my spirit was telling me to run like hell. Usually they are very emotional people, but their emotion is so great, that they find it hard to see where you are coming from simply because they are constantly dealing with their own inner turmoil. But.. then he tells me how happy he is etc. Went shopping what i ussualy do with him. And they are right. I know I was . Thats normal. So they make a mental note that feeding you a dose of guilt got the job done, so they throw in some more. Thank-you for your kind words. Thus resulting in devaluation of myself and allowing her to walk over me. No sense being his friend. And i really believe that he meant it at the moment he said that. So even when they have taken literally everything else from us, we still have the ability to Love. The triangle? ago after months of me Gray rocking him way to spot a guy who not! Any ways you know, i dont want to be his friend for his sake! Cold hearted person who is not a catch in anyway imaginable and narcs hate.! Better/Effective liars then men your ex blocked you on all social media and you gave all. Appear so happy with the new supply down in tears supply they tired... 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