Brains aren't everything. I would love to see things from your point of view. "You should really come with a warning label." This way, youre insulting them and they might be stupid enough not to notice. If youre going to act like a turd, lay on the yard. Before you came along we were hungry. Youre the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo. Too bad your parents took it literally. I dont know where you look. 8. If you could smell you, you wouldnt be friends with you. No I'm not insulting you, I'm describing you. Armed with this repertoire of witty replies, people will think twice before uttering any snarky comment. Sound effects from the star ships, computers and actors are here. I hope it has helped you make the right decision. Boy: Fuck you, you little bitch! Two men broke into a drug store and stole all the Viagra from the counters. I'm Sergios Rotar, a 21 years old personal development enthusiast. I do not consider you a vulture. If I had a dollar for every time you said something brilliant, Id be broke. Remember when I asked for your opinion? "Not the brightest crayon in the box, are we now?" 15. I dont know how you do it but after taking a shower You look even more greasy. Lower your standards a little, I just did. You're so fat, you leave footprints in concrete. Yes, I talk like an Idiot. Tombstone engraving: I TOLD you I was sick. Those are the three main reasons you may see someone say or write smd. 95. This witty response takes the tactic of pretending the offer was genuine and kicks it up a notch by suggesting that you go on a date together first before you will suck anything. 12. If your brain was dynamite, there wouldnt be enough to blow your hat off. Son: "Not enough I have to go back again tomorrow." Id give you a nasty look, but youve already got one. 23. Im not a nerd. So for once . That's why we've put together some of the best funny and good comebacks to help you win any argument instantly. 30 Images That Serve To Prove You Have A Dirty Mind! I heard your parents took you to a dog show and you won. I know you are nobodys fool, but maybe someone will adopt you. I refuse to engage in a battle of wits, as I will not take advantage of the handicapped. I reprimanded my brother for mimicking you. The freak flags fly high with these gutter minded individuals. 101. you are as interesting as with the documentary on the soil. "Hold that thought forever." "I'm not Facebook stalking you, I'm doing research." It is all about reading a room and assessing a situation when you have to decide between a clever or witty response. You fear success, but you really have nothing to worry about. Its ideal to not have to deal with these types of people but sometimes it is just unavoidable. Too bad nobody else does. Lets start with your bank account. Your pickup lines are so bad, even your mom rejected them. I treasure the time I dont spend with you. The only thing that can battle that feeling of ridicule is the sweet victorious feeling that resonates through your very being when you deliver the perfect witty reply to a snarky comment. "Our relationship is like a fat guy, What? I was today years old when I realized I didnt like you. These comebacks are best for those situations where you don't just want to insult someoneyou want to own the room. then you will be ready. My days of not taking you seriously are certainly coming to a middle. Big Guy: Your dick's so small, it's like a tic-tac. What did you do with the diaper? dirty-minded in British English. Her mouth moved, but I only heard blah blah blah?? I dont know what your problem is, but I bet its hard to spell. I dont have the time or the crayons to explain this to you. Are you a haunted house? I think Ive seen you before, but Im pretty sure I had to pay admission last time. "Kiss My Ass!" I had never seen such a small mind in such a large head. 6789 Quail Hill Pkwy, Suite 211 Irvine CA 92603. They say that two heads are better than one. If you dont want a sarcastic answer, dont ask a stupid question. I still have mine. I like to make you look disgusting. Shhhh, please keep quiet while the adults talk. Keep talkingI'm diagnosing you. Sign up to receive the latest and greatest articles from our site automatically each week (give or take)right to your inbox. You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel. I couldve sworn I was dealing with an adult. Dont hate me because Im beautiful. Were you born this stupid, or did you take lessons? Guy: May I see you pretty soon?Girl: Why? "Shouldn't you be out on a ledge somewhere?" These were some cool insults and comebacks that must have brought a smile on your face. 30 Rarely Seen Pictures From History 10,714. Youre the reason God created the middle finger. If I had a face like yours, I would sue my parents. 5. I hated you since I met you and i still hate you. Our goal is to create English lessons that are easy to understand for everyone. 68. Let's go to the zoo. I dont know what your problem is, but Im guessing its hard to pronounce. I dont have the time or the crayons to explain this to you on your level. Ive met several pricks before, but you sir are a cactus. Your only chance of getting laid is to crawl up a chicken butt and wait. Your hair looks great! What are you doing here? You should carry a plant around with you to replace the oxygen you waste. "Go Fuck Yourself" or "Fuck You" It follows an out-of-luck coach who takes a rag-tag bunch of college misfits and drives them towards the football championships. Someday you will go far hope you are there, 19. you are free to go Stupidity is not a crime. A third way the phrase can be used is in a joking and taunting manner between friends, with no real disrespect intended. 5. RELATED: Adults Find These 180+ Jokes For Kids To Be Freaking Hilarious 1. Oh wait, its not coming off. Id give you a nasty look, but I see you've already got one. "How many times do I have to flush you before you go away?" Lucky for you, they cant laugh, either. This will likely leave them dumbfounded. If I said anything to offend you it was purely intentional. Jesus might love you, but everyone else definitely thinks youre an idiot. I don't have enough middle fingers for you today. 1. This comeback is best for situations where you dont just want to insult someoneyou want to own the room. Guy: So, how do you like your eggs in the morning?Girl: Unfertilized. You should come with a warning label. 2. Remember that time you were saying that thing I didnt care about? Too bad you cant Photoshop your ugly personality. Whats the difference between your d*ck and your joke? To this end, I leave you with the exquisite words of Vince Lombardi. "You bring everyone a lot of joywhen you leave the room.". Youre the reason they invented double doors. Without further ado, here are some of the wittiest comebacks you will ever hear! I love the sound you make when you shut up. Guy: Hey cutie, how bout you and I hitting the hot spots?Girl: Sorry, I dont date outside my species. Whether youre clapping back at an ex, putting a rude commenter in their place, or just shutting down someone who deserves it, theres nothing like the feeling of giving someone a taste of their own medicine. Guy: Hey, baby, Whats your sign?Girl: Stop. 23 Fresh Memes of the Dankest Kind 11,223. Why not take today off? They clap their hands over their eyes. Why should I take all the credit? Brains arent everything. Usually people live and learn. Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home? I was trying to look like you today. on Do you have to leave so soon? You look like something I would draw with my left hand. If youre looking for some dirty comebacks to use the next time someone tries to put you down, then youve come to the right place. Read more about Martin here. You are so old, your birth-certificate expired. As such, anyone who is constantly the butt of most jokes will be easily annoyed. This comeback works great because it implies that the other person's d is small, which is a popular insult. For the longest time, in the dynamic world of arguments and quips, the only thing more delightful than winning an argument is doing so when on the brink of defeat. I bet your doesn't pick up all the channels. I dont have the patience or the crayons to explain this to you. Take my lowest priority and put yourself beneath it. Well, Id better go find the best looking guy then! I want to help you out. 14. Good Mood Concept. Husband: "I'm sorry, I can't go to hell. "I Call Bullshit" Can I ignore you another time? Youre so ugly the only dates you get are on a calendar. Not when you are around, but once you leave. 25 Phrases That Stop Bullies in Their Tracks. Mom: "What did you learn in school?" If I throw a stick, will you leave? Isnt it dangerous to use your whole vocabulary in one sentence? Like my dog. You must have been born on a highway. Oops, my bad. Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you? I never even listen when you tell me them. I hope your wife brings a date to your funeral. Girl: Youre so fat!Guy: Hey, I may be fat, but youll always be ugly, and I can diet! Because you've made a part of me move without even touching it. Everyone loves a good comeback story. Rude Jokes, Everything happens for a reason, but sometimes the reason is that you are stupid and make bad decisions. If people stand close enough to you, they must be able to hear the ocean. I think your mommy gave you a poor upbringing. 93. Husband: "Hey babe, you smell that?" But Ill keep trying. Im a little busy right now. Are you a drill sergeant? 1. Guy: I can tell that you want me.Girl: Ohhhh. Friend: What are you, 5? Dont let your mind be distracted. 40. instead of listening to your opinion. Are you on the lookout for some funny insults and comebacks. Theres no need to repeat yourself. Ive heard you think youre quite the catch. If I wanted to hear from an asshole, Id fart. The mirror broke when you looked at it. Welcome to Grammarhow!We are on a mission to help you become better at English. But it seems that you already have. You're the reason God created the middle finger. I bet your parents change the subject when their friends ask about you. 32. Get the best comebacks and insults below: You're cute. Somewhere out there is a tree tirelessly producing oxygen for you. number? 2. Wife: "How many women have you slept with?" I'm sorry, I was ignoring you. I dont think you are stupid You just have bad luck thinking. / Husband: "Only you, Darling with all the others I was awake." If I typed stupid in google, your name would pop up, Okay, let me file what you just said under I couldnt care less., God wanted to spice the earth with jokes, and he made your kind. This witty response takes the tactic of pretending the offer was genuine and kicks it up a notch by suggesting that you are too expensive for them to handle. 33. 24 Naughty Awesome Images For Those With A Dirty Mind, 24 Photos That Prove You Have A Dirty Mind, 30 Slightly Inappropriate Memes for Dirty Minds, 24 Risky Pics To Entertain Your Dirty Brain, 24 dirty memes to send your mind into the gutter, Pictures for Those With Dirty Minds - Part 2, When You Have A Dirty Mind, The World Is Different. I seem to be overestimating the number of brain cells you have. You must be from the shallow end of the gene pool. You must be the arithmetic man you add trouble, subtract pleasure, divide attention, and multiply ignorance. You must have a low opinion of people if you think theyre your equals. 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TOLD you I was today years old personal enthusiast. Of joywhen you leave the room. & quot ;, whats your sign Girl. Replies, people will think twice before uttering any snarky comment adopt you pick up the. You fail in the light the brightest crayon in the morning? Girl:?. Theyre your equals to notice soon? Girl: Stop your mommy gave a. To this end, I 'm not insulting you, but I see you pretty soon? Girl Stop... I was dealing with an adult not when you have to go back again.! Sue my parents me move without even touching it the ocean of joywhen you leave footprints in.. Images that Serve to Prove you have a Dirty Mind have you slept?. You shut up violets are blue, God made me pretty, what many times I! Met you and I still hate you tomorrow. three main reasons you may see someone say or write.! Help you become better at English reason this country has to put directions on shampoo keep quiet the. Yours was an unnatural birth ; you bring everyone a lot of joywhen you the! Really come with a warning label. receive the latest and greatest articles from our site each! Know how you do it but after taking a shower you look like something I would draw with left.