We need to start teaching kids this, she said. Walking up to a door with so many racing thoughts afraid I was not going to be believed, wondering what I was going to be asked, and so ashamed to even think about sharing the dirty secrets. 46 reviews. I just figured I told my mom, and I never had to talk about this again. I had only ever been told no one (would) believe me, I feared ruining our large extended family when they learned a family member (teenage cousin) was molesting my sister and I. Sixteen years ago, on March 29, 1998, my sister broke her silence to me. (Read why most child abuse goes unreported). I left all the fragmented sentences, misspelled words, because I wanted readers to hear the voice of a young child.. I guess what I was trying to ask is, why do you think your abusers chose you instead of some other girl as a target? Merryn said she was never taught to speak up about it, so shekept it a secret. He sat down in front of Merryn and put his finger to his lips signaling her to remain quiet. However, she said theabuseand rape continueduntil she was almost nine. I can spend the rest of my life hating him, or I can forgive him and do something positive about this thing that continues to be a negative thing in my life, she said. See the sex abuse in Israel's ultra-orthodox community. So far, her story has inspired many kids to speak up about abuse, and that has led to more predators put behind bars. Eleven-year-old Erin Merryn's life was transformed on the night she was sexually abused by her cousin, someone she loved and trusted. Chris Newlin - National Children's Advocacy Center You have permission to edit this article. "It's something that is going to be with me the rest of my life," Erin said. She was also afraid she would lose her innocence. On Thursday, Quinn signed "Erin's Law" at the Children's Advocacy Center of North and Northwest Cook County in Hoffman Estates. In 2013, Governor Quinn signed it into law requiring Illinois schools to teach it every single year. As I describe in my books, that center was the foundation of my healing. Erin's Law was the first law passed in the United States requiring sexual abuse prevention education to be taught to students in school every year, and it was subsequently passed in 38 U.S. states before being signed into federal law. Have there been times in your life when haven't done well? Erin wrote that letter. Merryn: My resilience took a lot of psychological help growing up as a kid, teen, and young adult. [5] It turned out cousin Brian was abusing Merryns little sister, too. The revelation caused tension in the family. Today there are more then 700 Children Advocacy Centers in America and millions of children have walked through those doors.Before there were CAC's children were interviewed numerous times in places such as police stations. These days hes almost 9 and I dont really tag along to play dates anymore, but every time I drop him off, I tell him, if you have to use the bathroom, lock the door and have privacy. She is an activist against child sexual abuse as well as the founder of Erin's Law, which requires public schools to teach children personal body safety in order to prevent child sexual abuse. Merryn saidif parents are not comfortable, the bill allows parents toopt their kids out of the education. You will eventually hear about this law being passed in all 50 states, and I plan on one day taking it and making it international, said Erin. What do you think made him want to apologize, finally? I wouldn't have quit my job four years ago as a master's level counselor to go after this had I not been lead by the Lord. Unthinkable acts. But many schools, she said, are using faculty social workers and psychologists because research shows its better taught by in-house staff then outside agencies. Erin is now on a mission to persuade all 50 states to pass Erins Law, which mandates that all public schools use age-appropriate curricula to teach students how to tell on anyone who touches or attempts to touch their private parts. Young children tend to hear a lot of messages about avoiding interactions with people they don't know, when in reality they are far more likely to face harm from a relative or family friend. So, she forgave him. Merryn travels the country bearing witness to what happened to her in hopes of encouraging states to enact laws requiring sexual abuse education in schools. MORE: Monmouth U. faces federal sexual assault case. Instead I am still running from Brian. Its word for word my diary from the ages of 10 until my senior year of high school. The look in this mans eyes, the color shirt he was wearing and the last thing he said to me, Dont you dare tell anybody. Therapists (and) an amazing school psychologist in high school really helped me heal. Alaska Dispatch: You were preyed upon not once, but twice (two different abusers during different stages of childhood). We simply cannot stand by and allow these innocent kids to feel ashamed and live in fear at the hands of their abuser. But at age 11, Merryn's second nightmare began. You didn't just tell one person. Two against one, somebody had to believe us.. The Children's Advocacy Center of Northwest Cook County Illinois. But Ashley begged her not to say anything because Richard had told her they would "lose the house" if the girls told anyone. She was afraid she would be a burden to her cousin and that no one would believe her. Eleven-year-old Erin Merryn's life was transformed on the night she was sexually abused by her cousin, someone she loved and trusted. Now, thanks to state Sen. Anthony R. Bucco, children of the Garden State may soon benefit from Merryns harrowing experience, knowledge and hope. CAC The place Erin Merryn broke her silence The Children's Advocacy Center of Northwest Cook County Illinois In 1998 seventy five thousand six hundred and forty seven abused children were seen in one hundred and thirty nine Children's Advocacy Centers in America. When people ask how I have overcome all that I have and doing what I am doing now, passing Erin's Law in 11 states, 26 introducing it and going to each capital to testify on it, I tell them all of this comes from our creator. Immediately I thought I was being asked this question because she already did not believe me. Look out for motels that might house sex offenders. Instead of putting their daughters through further emotional trauma of a criminal trial, Erins parents decided not to press charges. Erin says she believes everyone is born with a purpose and she has found hers through the events that have occurred in her life. Her dad singled me out during the party. The Church Sex Abuse Scandals Around the World, Child-Abuse Case Reveals Vietnam's Lax Social Services, (Read why most child abuse goes unreported). (2016) Consider This Self - Author and Children's Advocate. The book is titled "Stolen Innocence." After enduring a childhood filled w. After graduating, Erin went on to earn her Masters degree in social work, but from time to time she would still consult her little pink childhood diary. I didnt want to talk to anyone about this. Known For. Erin Merryn (Author) 139 ratings Kindle Edition $17.99 Read with Our Free App Paperback $16.56 16 Used from $11.22 5 New from $45.35 Eleven-year-old Erin Merryn's life was transformed on the night she was sexually abused by her cousin, someone she loved and trusted. Sexually abused and raped from age 6-8 by an adult neighbor Erin was threatened to stay silent by her abuser. Merryn is an author, activist, and founder of Erin's Law. The place Erin reclaimed her voice and began her journey to healing. Again, she was told to keep quiet, that no one would believe her if she said anything and that she had no proof. COLUMBUS, Ohio The Ohio Senate is considering a bill to teach elementary, middle and high school students how to protect themselves from sexual predators. Alaska Dispatch: When you decided to confront and start corresponding with your cousin, how did it go at first? Forgiving him did not mean what he did was right, she stressed. But only 1 in every 10 sexually abused children ever tell anyone about it. The voice that was silenced for so long. Vermont State Board of Education has required it in schools since 2009. The law has now passed in 37 states. CBN News Self - Children's Advocate. Realizing I was not a fault and learning to let go of the guilt. Erin Merryn, force behind Erins Law, tells her story at Metamora Township High School, Central Illinois Poetry Out Loud regional winners announced, Area students named to St. Olaf Colleges Dean's List, Fall archery hunters reach third-highest turkey harvest on record for season, FOP seeks applicants for new Peer Wellness program that will assist law enforcement officers in crisis, Local students make Carthage College dean's list, Local students named to Illinois Wesleyan University's fall 2022 Dean's List, Local students named to Trinity Christian Colleges fall 2022 Dean's List, Illinois Department of Revenue reminds eligible taxpayers to take advantage of Senior Citizens Tax Deferral Program, United Methodists form new church in Washington, District 52 proposes referendum on April ballot, Illinois natives REO Speedwagon return to the Illinois State Fair Grandstand stage, Interrupted Journey exhibition opens at Dickson Mounds Museum, Scots win 12 events at Roger Haynes Invitational, WCHS Panthers bring home All-State Honors, State Titles. One day, a particular entry she wrote caught her eye. Is there anything about your life circumstances that you think made you a target? At a family gathering at her grandparents' lake house, she awoke in the middle of the night to find her cousin "Brian" (again, not his real name), then 13, lying next to her with his hands down her underwear. The parents can then share the information that the schools provided with anyone else in their household. JANESVILLE, Wis. (WMTV) - Illinois woman Erin Merryn spoke in Wisconsin Wednesday, pushing the state to pass the law in her namesake that aims to protect children and prevent child sexual abuse. How? Victims of abuse know their perpetrators 80% to 90% of the time, says David Finkelhor, director of the Crimes Against Children Research Center at the University of New Hampshire. The same year I was born in 1985 was the first year the development of the first CAC in America was born in Alabama. Again, she started having trouble in school, becoming distant and withdrawn. Merryn travels the country advocating for children who are victims of sexual assault. Erin wanted nothing more than to make him feel the hurt that she did. Gov. I tell parents the best way to talk to kids about this is through the swimsuit lesson, Merryn said. In 2009 Texas passed a similar law but it was only a task force which did not mandate students be taught personal body safety, making Illinois the first state to require personal body safety education by law. Her dad had to sit down and have a tough conversation with his sister, and denial followed. Merryn: Many don't realize that there are 42 million survivors in America of child sexual abuse. The reality is, 93 percent of the time it is not strangers that are hurting kids. Ensuring all New Jersey kids have access to age-appropriate sexual abuse prevention education will end the cycle of abuse before it begins. Info here from RAINNwww.rainn.org/news/president-signs-measures-support-state-action-prevent-and-address-child-sexual-abuseErin's media appearances have included Access Hollywood 2020Tamron Hall 2020HLN 2020CBS Morning Show 2019The Morning Blend 2019CNN 2018, HLN 2018, BUILD 2018 TLC Breaking the Silence Documentary TODAY show 2015, Nancy Grace 2015, ABC Nightline 2015, CNN 2015, Dr. Drew 2015, Inside Edition 2015, MSNBC 2015, Oprah Winfrey Network 2014, Windy City Live 2014, MSNBC 2013, FOX 2013, Katie Couric 2013, Oprah Life Class 2012, CNN 2012, Issues with Jane Velez Mitchell 2011, Oprah Winfrey Show October 2010, Montel Williams in April/July 2006, and Good Morning America in May 2006. The brilliant minds behind putting in place a center that had a home away from home feeling to give children a sense of security and comfort.At thirteen was the age I walked through the CAC. Alaska Dispatch: Would something like what you are proposing -- Erin's Law -- have helped you? Alaska Dispatch: When you broke your silence and spoke up, was it frightening? Who were they? Erin Merryn Mar 2004 - Present18 years 7 months Chicago, IL Erin is an author, writer, and activist. And for the next year and a half, repeatedly told me, This is our little secret. I had all the warning signs of an abused kid -- labeled behavior(ally) and emotionally disturbed, given an IEP (Individual Education Plan) for that behavior, I had anger problems, put my hand through a window weeks after being raped at 7 years old and threw tantrums on the floors in school. Children are taught that the police are their to keep their communities safe and lock up the bad people. But at age 11, Merryn's second nightmare began. Wow, I have a decision to make. It is currently passed in 37 states as of January 2021. That's where, 14 years ago, a then-13-year-old Erin Merryn first . So many children will be protected because of her." My sister and I were the only girls that he was around all the time. Alaska Dispatch: Silence is a powerful way in which sexual abuse is kept secret and is perpetuated. "Erin's Law" is named after Schaumburg native and activist Erin Merryn. Sexually abused as a. ABC News agreed to use her pen name and a false name for the man she says abused her. I remember being so utterly confused.. He did respond admitting what he did and saying he is using his past to not make the same mistakes now in his life. Im very concerned about the possibility of grooming or the losing the innocence of our young children. Erin Merryn, a sexual abuse survivor, applauds Stewart for making her story public. He was free, but the rage inside Erin remained. Erin Elizabeth had cheerful holidays turned into a fight to protect herself from evil where she often lost. The two continued to correspond for seven months. A survivor of childhood sexual abuse, Erin has worked diligently to lobby every state to pass Erin's Law, beginning with her home state of Illinois in 2009. The law was passed in a number of states,[7] with New York becoming the 37th in 2019. I will come get you, I know where you live, Erin recalled. In Living for Today, readers find that Erin cultivated the strength to face her abuser . The ability to forgive both my abusers set me free and gave me my voice back and the strength to speak out for others. According to the Office of the Monmouth County Prosecutors website, the only time that Megans Law information will be released to parents or families of students is if the school receives a Tier III high risk notice concerning an offender living within a 1,000-foot radius of their location. Did anything make you an attractive target, or particularly vulnerable? In it, Erin chronicles how she cultivated the strength to face her abuser and eventually found relief from years of emotional restlessness, while also igniting the beginnings of a new fearless journey. Soon it was no longer our secret and I was behind a different closed door not the one to a bedroom, a bathroom, basement, or closet but this time into a colorful room with a small table and bright light shinning through the skylight. As an adult, she's reclaimed the voice her. Erin said he would occasionally downplay what he did, but he never denied it. Merryn was as bewildered as she was frightened. By speaking up even when family is against the idea, it is freedom for a survivor and allows them to reclaim a piece of their lives back. Who encouraged you to keep talking, to keep fighting? At no time should the school provide the information directly to the student (unless the student is over 18). She kept quiet, but behavior problems soon followed. At age 17, she attempted suicide. Requiring personal body safety education in public schools. Read more about Erin Merryn on her Erin's Law Facebook page and her website. On this Wikipedia the language links are at the top of the page across from the article title. Merryn: The first thing someone can do is start talking about it. [2] The family pressed charges, and the cousin eventually confessed to three counts of child sexual abuse. She wasn't always successful. Merryn: I was terrified. There was one good thing about my sister coming forward, she said. She was taught how to ride out a tornado, instructed in the eight steps for turning down illegal drugs, and told how to react to a friendly stranger who might try to abduct her. Erin said they just wanted to make sure their nephew got help. Author of Stolen Innocence, Living for Today The fact that a motel is not telling families that sex offenders are living there should be a crime, Merryn said. "Growing up in the suburbs of Chicago, I met my best friend in kindergarten. Jill Burke is a former writer and columnist for Alaska Dispatch News. How I wondered am I suppose to tell this stranger my pain when I am too ashamed to even talk in detail with my parents about it. Do not use the phrases good touch and bad touch, says Merryn. In the end, he was given seven years of probation, 1,000 hours of community service, he attended a two-year sex offender program, and couldnt come within 100 feet of Erin or her sister. There is a misconception about this issue many people think sexual abuse only happens to the poor, to people who come from broken homes, etc. In 2014 People magazine named her one of fifteen women changing the world along with Oprah and Hillary Clinton. I was abused. Merryn now had a duty as a big sister to protect her younger sibling. My sister and I both left with stuffed animals and feeling like our secret was now in good hands. I survived it and eventually learned how to thrive from it by breaking my silence and putting a face and voice on this silent epidemic. Teaching kids the differences between safe and unsafe touch, safe and unsafe secrets, how to report this to a safe adult and to keep reporting it if your abuse does not end, said Merryn. Erin Merryn's memoir is about how her life was transformed on the night she was sexually abused by her cousin, someone she loved and trusted."I thought when the abuse stopped I could move on with my life. Do you still stay in contact with him? She shows no signs of fatigue, and she seems ready. She is not ashamed of the sexual abuse she endured as a child and, instead, feels inspired to put a face and voice on childhood sexual abuse. Then something happened that no one saw coming: he confessed. Erin is a mom to three little girls. Erin Merryn born February 2 1985 is the author of Stolen Innocence Living for Today An Unimaginable Act Bailey No Ordinary Cat and The Diary of a Cat. Read more about Erins Law at www.erinslaw.org, or about Erin herself at www.erinmerryn.net. She is the force behind passing Erin's Law across America. I often say victims are those who are killed by their attackers. For so many years I stayed angry and bitter towards him. "Alabama needs this law because just like everywhere else in America . After it was republished by Health Communications in early 2005, she began traveling the nation telling her story about the sexual abuse she endured at hundreds of high schools, colleges, sexual assault centers, child abuse conferences and community events. The day I left that place I took a piece of my life back, and that was my voice. The founder of Erin's Law. I remember walking out into the parking lot and feeling this sense of relief.Seven months later I would return back for the first time since my interview to begin a group with other girls who were survivors in January 1999. That is what brought Erin to tell her story at Metamora Township High School last Monday afternoon, during an all-school assembly. "(It) brings me back to remembering being six-years-old being abused. CBS News' Reena Ninan visited a public school in Illinois to see how the school teaches kids about safe . And it was at her house the very first overnight that I woke up to her uncle who lived in the home sexually abusing me," said Merryn. Erins Law has now going international with judge in Kerala India requiring Erins Law in the 2023-2024 school year. I am a survivor. My goal in life is to give a voice to the voiceless and put these predators out of business, she said. When all you have ever been told by an abuser is to stay silent, no one will believe you, this is our secret, you learn to believe that, and (it) makes it extremely difficult to speak up about. But nobody asked those important questions. It wasnt until Erin was 13 and found out the same thing was happening to her little sister (then age 11), that she decided she needed to speak out. So be careful sending little Tommy for ice at the machine down the hall and inform teens who often book motels after prom. Thirty-seven states have passed Erins Law and Merryn has tried three times in seven years to get the bill passed in Ohio. Erin has appeared in People Magazine, Glamour Magazine, Time Magazine, The New York Times, Time Magazine, New York Post, The London Times, USA Today, Chicago Tribune, Daily Herald, among others. Check out Erins third book, An Unimagiable Act. This book describes Erins journey across America to get Erins Law passed and resources for survivors, parents, and educators. Unfortunately, children who are abused once are at even higher risk of being abused again by someone else because they are vulnerable and easy to prey on. The next steps for the bill remain unknown. But nothing prepared her for two traumatizing events that have turned Merryn, now 25, into an activist, determined to prevent the same thing from happening to other children. How and when did you do it first? You've grown into a powerful voice who is bearing witness to the nation. Then, Erin said she told her family too. Names were the only thing she changed. Merryn found her voice at 13 when her younger sister said the words she'll never forget: "Brian's gross!" It turned out cousin Brian was abusing Merryn's little sister, too. Erin Merryn speaks with enthusiasm, rattling off the list of trips around the globe, the hours of research and meetings promoting her cause. Merryn successfully passed it in her state of Illinois in 2013 and has been traveling from one state capital to another testifying to state lawmakers to . This decision has brought her on a crusade across America to pass what is known as Erin's Law. Choosing to forgive has led me to live for today.. (2013) CNN Newsroom Self - Child Abuse Survivor. Merryn didn't tell anyone until she was 13 and she suspected her sister was also being abused. 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